Helping an Elderly Parent When Their Mate Dies: Financial Chores

by Lucille Rosetti, thebereaved.org
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The best way to help an elderly parent when their mate dies is to assist with these important financial chores they likely won’t be up to doing alone. That way they only have to focus on the most pressing decisions right away.

Losing a loved one is devastating, and for many people who suffer the death of a spouse, it can come with more than just grief. Worries about what the future holds, financial stress, and issues with substance abuse and depression are just a few of the things seniors face when their spouse passes away.

Since many retired individuals live on a tight budget, money worries are often at the forefront, making it difficult to find peace during such a difficult time.

What Are Some Ways You Can Help an Elderly Parent After a Mate Dies?

If your senior loved one has recently lost their spouse or partner, there are several ways you can help make things a little easier.

Making sure they focus only on the most pressing decisions right away will help relieve some stress, as will helping them get all their paperwork together so that everything stays organized. The time immediately following a death is often a hectic blur, and it’s easy to misplace important documents.

Keep reading for some great tips on how to help your loved one through this difficult time.

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Take Care of the Most Important Things First

While the “most important things” may vary from person to person, usually it includes taking care of life insurance claims, paying any bills that are due at the moment, and arranging for the funeral costs.

Help your loved one stay organized by keeping all the paperwork together in one easy-to-access spot, including copies of the deceased’s death certificate and any documents from the funeral home. You may also need to get several copies of the death certificate to send to various government agencies and creditors.

Arrange for a Reading of the Will

One of the most pressing actions your loved one will need to take is to arrange for a reading of the will. This will help them make important decisions about their home and other assets and give them peace of mind during such a tumultuous time.

The will may be held by the family lawyer or in a safe in the home; help your loved one arrange for a legal reading as soon as possible.

Talk About Your Loved One’s Arrangements

It’s not an easy talk to have – in fact, only about 27 percent of people have had “the conversation” with their family and friends — but it’s essential to have a sit-down with your loved one about their own end-of-life arrangements. Knowing what their wishes are when it comes to their estate and interment will give both of you peace of mind.

Find out whether they have a will and where they want their final resting place to be, as well as whether they want to be cremated or buried. Knowing this information beforehand will make things a little easier during your time of grief.

Notify the Appropriate Agencies

In some cases, your loved one may be eligible for a payout from the Social Security Administration or from a veterans organization, so help them do some research online to find out what they might be entitled to. You will likely need a copy of the death certificate and a Social Security number for the deceased, so have those things ready when the time comes.

Helping a senior loved one make important financial decisions can feel overwhelming if you don’t practice self-care, so remember to take some time out for your own needs. Get some rest, eat and stay hydrated, and practice a hobby or activity that helps you reduce stress.

Although it might seem awkward at first, it’s important to have “the conversation” about end-of-life arrangements. Doing so can give everyone peace of mind for what the future will hold.

Reviewed August 2023

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